Model Photography And The Gift Of Rejection
August 16, 2007
The black and white conversion of this photo taken on the Waikiki Beach pier is quite dramatic, I like that!
But while playing around with the above picture in Photoshop I realized the photo is probably much better because it was taken from behind the boy compared to a frontal shot.
Looking at the boy’s back I started to think of all the models who turned their back on me and all the models and opportunities I have turned my back to recently.
All Defeats Are Self Defeats
Since complaining is not an option the next step is to look at what can be learned from self defeating and being defeated by others?
First and foremost nobody can be defeated by others. Every defeat is a self defeat. This can be easily tested by laughing at your next defeat and letting that defeat roll off your shoulder. It will simply disappear.
The Comfort of Being An Observer
Not taking things personally is a good start when undoing self defeat in other words giving up my own ego. This happens to come semi naturally for me and it manifests in me being a simple observer (and not a participant) of events in my life.
Much like watching a rugby game instead of being crushed on the field or attending bull fighting and instead of participating, ending up with a 2nd anus shaped as a bull’s horn.
While being an observer the chances of getting hurt are zero to minimal. Being out of the bone crushing action (rat race, drama of others, financial desperation) all details of the game can be studied, re-studied and learned from.
Everybody self defeats out of some sort of fear and perhaps recovers from it quickly or learns from this process which usually repeats itself until/if it is stopped.
It is much easier to learn from other people’s mistakes and much less painful.
Having the mind of a photographer perhaps aids in this quest, I am perfectly happy to observe action which others rather be part of.
Examples: running with bulls through narrow street, being in a dead end relationship with someone incompatible, having a cell phone, spending all my saved money on stupid crap.
Self Defeating And Photography
Things I have done which have been clearly self defeating:
- turning down paying clients because I found the model unattractive
- not taking paying jobs due to insecurity believing I cannot do the job
- retuning to Hawaii
- not moving away from Hawaii sooner after moving back the 2nd time
- not making the best of my stay in Hawaii
- putting away my camera for weeks and not taking photos every day
- contemplating too much instead of acting and living in the now
Why Rejection Is A Gift
Rejection is guidance! Rejection is cleansing – much like fiber!
Therefore I must be thankful for all the models who rejected me because their rejection helped me to find a more meaningful path.
I also cannot blame myself for repeated self defeating because they teach me valuable lessons.
And finally thanks to the boy on the Waikiki Beach pier on the above photo for inspiring these thoughts!
